From: richard@greenend.org.uk (Richard Kettlewell) Date: Sat, 21 Jun 1997 20:14:03 +0100 OSD1000: I can impute lewdness to [ML10003] without fear of being wrong. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Wed, 25 Jun 97 16:09:06 +0100 (BST) ex-JMB29: Snow White is a hell of a lot sexier in person. From: Simon Tatham Date: Thu, 26 Jun 1997 02:39:02 +0100 (for your own interest, part of the context was Worms...) bjh21: 'What are you going to do with it?' ajm46: 'Force it!' bjh21: 'No, I mean the sheep.' From: osd1000@greenend.org.uk Date: Sat, 28 Jun 1997 00:50:50 +0100 rjk1002: I would say that... Shit, I've forgotten what I was going to say. osd1000: There will be other quotes, I don't doubt. rjk1002: Oh, bollocks. Nina: How can I be mainly male? From: Clare Izard Date: Mon, 30 Jun 1997 22:11:50 +0100 (BST) Ben (ex-bfj1000): I may have more computers than friends, but my girlfriend still costs me more than the modem does! From: Owen Dunn Date: Wed, 2 Jul 97 23:20:18 +0100 (BST) djsd100: We need a seventh cheese djsd100: This implies making the slightly unwieldy gorgonzoladay applicable only in the seven day cheese weeks. From: Owen Dunn Date: Wed, 2 Jul 97 23:31:01 +0100 (BST) rjk1002: The year starts with... _destiny_... djsd100: ...and ends with Stilton. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Sun, 6 Jul 97 19:21:13 +0100 (BST) sde1000: Mine works a lot better now I've cut off the outside. From: andrewm@chiark.greenend.org.uk (Andrew Mobbs) Date: Tue, 29 Jul 97 00:42 BST ex-DJSD100: Claire, you're too bony ex-ECI1000: Well, find a softer bit then. From: richard@greenend.org.uk Date: Fri, 29 Aug 97 01:15:51 +0100 (BST) dr10009 to and1000: All the women who come along to Green End parties are either attached or have already dumped you. From: richard@greenend.org.uk Date: Tue, 9 Sep 97 18:48:03 +0100 (BST) OSD1000: Is it OK if I plan to suck it? From: richard@greenend.org.uk Date: Fri, 12 Sep 97 23:39:46 +0100 (BST) AND1000: I don't get drunk, I just drink a lot, fall asleep and throw up. ttfn/rjk signed: austin AND1000: How _do_ you spell signed? From: richard@greenend.org.uk Date: Tue, 7 Oct 97 18:36:31 +0100 (BST) osd1000: So now we should have a sponglefleep file... Now we get "open" or "eep eep eep". From: Clare Izard Date: Thu, 6 Nov 1997 16:10:42 +0000 (GMT) Chrisj@chiark: I don't think my little brother has ever been a jaffa cake.. From: richard@greenend.org.uk Date: Sun, 23 Nov 97 22:44:25 +0000 (GMT) Mark Carroll: How did we get onto sexuality? I'm working against a 30-minute dial-up timeout here! (-: From: Shivering Jemmy Date: Thu, 27 Nov 1997 14:49:54 +0000 (GMT) th208: "When I said no, I was trying to convey some sort of positive sense". From: Ben Harris Date: Thu, 27 Nov 1997 15:46:57 +0000 (GMT) These somehow ended up on my Psion. I've no idea how. AOS20: (re DJSD100's tea-drinking habits) "But drinking tea is a restrained and sedate thing to do." OSD1000: "David _can_ be restrained and sedated..." (25/11/97) OSD1000: "I went out on Friday night and got completely rationalised" (25/11/97) OSD1000: "Yes, well this is what you get if you plug your Ethernet into a rat." (25/11/97) LMD21: "Simon [SGT20], you're fingering my penguin." (22/11/97) JLS20: "Oh, you said Volv_o_." (22/11/97) From: Date: Mon, 8 Dec 97 00:42:58 +0000 (GMT) (after falling over at the ice rink) ECI1000: I'm wet! ex-RJK1002+(Chris Josephs from Oxfrod): But we knew that already! ex-RJK1002: It must be wonderful being so un-self-conscious. ECI1000: I never really thought about it. From: Date: Fri, 12 Dec 97 01:45:50 +0000 (GMT) SM277: It's not brain surgery, it's a rap track, what do you expect! From: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 97 20:36:44 +0000 (GMT) OSD1000: Steve's inner self is a bank manager SDE1000: That's libellous! From: David Damerell Date: Wed, 7 Jan 1998 02:33:21 +0000 wednsday@tezcat.com: He's dreaming about fucking a bird. damerell@chiark, pjb1008: It's a big bird? wednsday: He's dreaming about fucking Big Bird. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Tue, 27 Jan 98 14:59:06 +0000 (GMT) wednsday@chiark.greenend.org.uk: If they default to Windows, I'm sure as hell not going to sleep with them. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Wed, 4 Mar 98 22:58:12 +0000 (GMT) dr10009: Swarfega is food. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Wed, 6 May 98 01:13:04 +0100 (BST) SDE1000: Could I have some of your offspring? I never have enough. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Fri, 5 Jun 98 14:08:58 +0100 (BST) djsd100: I'm not taking you to Shangri-La, I'm taking you to Chesterton! From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Thu, 9 Jul 98 18:49:42 +0100 (BST) sm277@eng.cam.ac.uk: Mind you, with that kind of logic, diana could be describing herself as a biplane too From: Mark Carroll Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1998 13:25:34 +0100 (BST) sm277 - "However, if I twist my words a little, I can make them into something that has a chance of being vaguely correct." From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Sun, 4 Oct 98 22:31:01 +0100 (BST) osd1000 (in his motd): ``Goodnight Austin and eth0:0'' From: Ian Jackson Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 03:54:54 +0100 (BST) MCV21: ... I'll have a [coronary] ... IWJ10: You said cronnery ! MCV21: No, I said crollry. From: Ian Jackson Date: Fri, 10 Sep 1999 04:38:16 +0100 (BST) ML10003: I decided to write a Perl script to convert Proto-Indo-European into Proto-Germanic. From: Ian Jackson Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 19:15:06 +0100 (BST) ex-AJM46: Just because the caviar is vegetable doesn't mean it can't be alien. ex-OSD1000: According to the version of Christianity I don't believe in ... From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Mon, 16 Aug 1999 23:27:24 +0100 OSD1000: He wanted information about my local parts. From: Ian Jackson Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 22:39:28 +0100 (BST) LNR [hert0145@sable]: If I'm not allowed to splutter all over Richard [ex-RJK1002], who am I allowed to splutter all over ? From: Ian Jackson Date: Sun, 8 Aug 1999 01:35:48 +0100 (BST) CAS52: Where did my enormous boyfriend disappear to ? From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Sun, 8 Aug 1999 01:32:16 +0100 (BST) IWJ10: So, Dave Holland wanted me to be gentle with him. From: "Owen Dunn" Date: Fri, 6 Aug 1999 15:40:16 +0100 CAS52: Croquet is like Illuminati, only with balls. From: Owen Dunn Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 15:02:43 +0100 (BST) bjh21: My trousers aren't living in the nineteenth century iwj10: I should have thought backsides wold have been safe by now glt1000: A relaxing screwing-down moment osd1000: I'd let you put it there if we had a camera elb30: I'm not [drunk] it's just the floor doesn't feel quite vertical sde1000: Has anyone heard of the fcpu project? It's a promise that shows project... and1000: St/ Patrick's Day is broken at the moment. osd1000: I've got a squaw to settle with you bjh21: This will be a man who's used to bashing his head against a 19th Century neo-gothic building iwj10: You see, what I did was raise e to the power of the price of my pizza js10039: I don't see what's so Freudian about a crocodile with a chainsaw osd1000: Who are you? Martin Cooper: Martin Cooper osd1000: Oh, him. From: Ian Jackson Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 23:39:02 +0100 (BST) CAS52: Oh ... I tried to log on as `Christ'. From: Ian Jackson Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 22:49:47 +0100 (BST) Mobbsy (on the Mediaeval Babes): It would almost be alright if it was followed by a guitar solo. From: Ian Jackson Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 23:42:33 +0100 (BST) ML10003: Surely it is the right of Fellow to eat cheese on toast in the doorway ? IWJ10: That's Fellow with a capital C, isn't it ? From: Ian Jackson Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 21:57:36 +0100 (BST) ex-AJM46: You're the one with the masculine columns. From: Ian Jackson Date: Sun, 26 Sep 1999 03:41:44 +0100 (BST) ML10003: I've never been out with a fractal sponge before. From: Marisa Lohr Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 22:09:24 +0100 (BST) sde1000: "...and I have the shit creek" From: Ian Jackson Date: Tue, 28 Sep 1999 00:59:23 +0100 (BST) MCV21: Have you picked up in the recent future ? From: Christi Alice Scarborough Date: Sun, 3 Oct 1999 17:02:39 +0100 "Cards are morally square" - Mathew Reid (ex-mdr16) udring a game of Illuminati) From: Clare Boothby Date: Tue, 12 Oct 1999 15:51:14 +0100 >From rrw1000's wedding speech: "We'd like to thank ucam.chat and GROGGS, and the hat's just fallen off our dalek." From: Matthew Woodcraft Date: Sun, 24 Oct 1999 00:10:31 +0100 (BST) MCV21: They're touching, but they're not adjacent. From: Ian Jackson Date: Tue, 26 Oct 1999 00:58:42 +0100 (BST) CAS52: This is why syphilis was such a good virus. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Mon, 08 Nov 1999 00:49:12 +0000 dcr24: Multimedia please sfb24: What colour? dcr24: Two From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 22:40:25 +0000 (GMT) ptc24: I'm going to cheat at patience... From: Clare Boothby Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 22:41:55 +0000 ml10003: Speaking as a vet, what would you recommend for a persistent cough? mcv21: Euthanasia, I think. From: Clare Boothby Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 23:20:02 +0000 osd1000: By the way, what CUSFS discussions are there coming up? dcr24: There's the MacAvoy discussion on , and then the favourite authors discussion on . osd1000: Oh. I haven't read anything by either of those. From: Ian Jackson Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 01:42:11 +0000 (GMT) ex-OSD1000: Those are the kind of wings you need whewn you find that your pants become stained with blue. ml10003: Ian, you're always putting your feet on strange things! ex-hert1045@sable: Can I not be `Harry' for short ? ex-IWJ10: `Oh darling, stab me with your ....' PJC24: `Stab me with your army in Triest !' From: Owen Dunn Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1999 12:16:09 +0000 (GMT) vkc20: Never get between a geek and his duvet... From: Ben Harris Date: Fri, 19 Nov 1999 12:24:29 +0000 From: Owen Dunn Newsgroups: ucam.chat Date: 19 Nov 1999 12:14:28 +0000 (GMT) Message-ID: <4+C*j-udo@news.chiark.greenend.org.uk> [...] Yes, I'm afraid I'm so desperate that I try to pick up women in /var/lib. From: Steven Kitson Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 12:08:46 +0000 elb30: i don't know what you mean, but i'm sure i don't approve ;) From: Duncan Richer Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 12:29:52 +0000 (GMT) ex-iwj10: It doesn't matter who prods me. ex-mjw1007: You just need to subtract 1970 from the number of the universe. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 10 Dec 1999 17:25:42 +0000 (GMT) sjk25: To paraphrase Betrand Russel "The problem with the world is Ian Jackson" From: Ian Jackson Date: Sun, 12 Dec 1999 03:33:49 +0000 (GMT) PJC50 (to ex-IWJ10): We need more monads at this party. pemb0471@sable: Tasty things get drunk ... of course I get drunk a lot. From: LNR Date: Fri, 31 Dec 1999 22:55:27 +0000 (GMT) sgt20: I've got luminous balls: they're fun! From: Owen Dunn Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2000 00:48:55 +0000 janet mcknight: 'He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!' osd1000: 'He's somewhere in between: he's a Liberal Democrat.' From: Peter Corbett Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2000 12:05:01 +0000 ptc24: I went to the New Hall bar meet to get away from people geeking From: Owen Dunn Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2000 22:14:35 +0000 (GMT) sde1000: I'm not Steve! From: LNR Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2000 13:49:52 +0000 (GMT) sjk25: Yes you did just touch my hand, but I wasn't exactly holding it very tightly. From: Ian Jackson Date: Sat, 05 Feb 2000 17:54:16 +0000 MCV21: Have you ever seen a walrus masturbate ? From: Ian Jackson Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2000 22:48:09 +0000 (GMT) ex-hert0145@sable: It's only when the ends get in the cleavage that it tickles lots. From: ian@davenant.greenend.org.uk (Ian Jackson) Date: Tue, 08 Feb 2000 03:39:30 +0000 ex-IWJ10: I think that great respect is a good excuse for a shag. From: ian@davenant.greenend.org.uk (Ian Jackson) Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 23:39:51 +0000 ex-RJK1002: What you need is a stillsuit ... designed for aesthetics. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 19:02:02 +0000 (GMT) ex-crlk2: Am I being a pretentious twat? From: Ian Jackson Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2000 00:43:44 +0000 (GMT) ML10003: I don't think our aim was to produce a complete classification of cheese. From: Clare Boothby Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 20:46:47 +0000 osd1000: `I'd be far happier if I didn't have any emotions.' From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 15:49:35 +0000 (GMT) dcr24: I was thinking of [an] explosive charge under the chair actually... ptc24: Oooh! Kinky! From: Ben Harris Date: Mon, 25 Oct 1999 22:21:20 +0100 [unknown dates] jtn20: `I consume pancakes without ethical constraint.' amf20: `Your hair is looking particularly gorgeous, Chris [cme20]. It reminds me of myself.' amf20: `You're not playing fair, Simon [sgt20], and I'm having my epiglottis crushed.' rjd4: [regarding a firewall] `It's not really there to provide security. It's there to provide warm fuzzy feelings for your industrial sponsor.' [24/4/1999] glt1000: `You're reinventing the language to suit your own sentences!' [16/5/1999] sgt20: `Parties are things which have whips.' [29/6/1999] ceb28: `If you need to make up the numbers, I'll happily sleep in your bed one night.' [Pubmeet 13/3/1999] bjh21: `I didn't order complicated things, I just said yes and handed over the money.' LNR: `Well, the only people I've had recently are Duncan [dcr24] and Emma [elb30].' osd1000: `It's in my Psion so it must be true.' elb30: `You should see where I get the bruises from *that*.' ceb28 [of pjie2]: `I've never forgiven him. He killed me once and then sang at me.' iwj10: `I'm half-way to being fossilised, I'm afraid.' dcr24: `I wouldn't want to run my computer in milk.' [6/8/1999] Owen has a Y2K bug. osd1000: `This is the 1990s, you know.' ceb28: `Yes? And?' osd1000: `It'll soon be the 1920s.' osd1000: `It's damn inconvenient not being able to see what colour the traffic lights are. You can't see whether you've got any mail or not.' [25/8/1999] ceb28: `I was doing an impression of an aubergine!' [28/8/1999] bjh21: `Do not spool, mindle or ... futilate?' [14/10/1999] sgt20: `Spondee is worth doing pull-ups for.' [15/10/1999] [ps10 has worked for the CS since before many of us were born.] ps10: `I was _married_ before you were born!' jpk28: `So were my parents, I can cope with that concept.' rjd4: `Reincarnation? I want to be that fungus.' [19/10/1999] rjd4: `Are you sure? I always thought it was a very inclusive exclusion.' (Nikolai): `Both Freddie Mercurys were devout parsees.' jpk28: `_Both_ Freddie Mercurys?!?' (Nikolai): `Oh, sorry; both Freddie Mercury's _parents_ were devout parsees.' From: Matthew Byng-Maddick Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 19:25:54 +0000 (GMT) IWJ10: I can't be rude. PTC24: Look, I'm straight! PEMB0471 (TO MCV21): I'm not cheap, you couldn't afford me. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 20:48:16 +0000 (GMT) ptc24: Are there any good joints? From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 22:18:34 +0000 (GMT) tajc2(to ptc24): Tell me when you feel a climax approaching From: Matthew Vernon Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2000 22:04:41 +0000 Mark Waller: I'm sure even *lesbian* sheep sit down From: Matthew Byng-Maddick Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2000 01:07:33 +0000 (GMT) PEMB0471: sometimes my mouth is operational CAS52 (about PEMB0471): you're just a mechanism for generating gossip PEMB0471: Don't wobble your head, you're bruising my thigh! IMC (to PEMB0471): you're on about loins again, aren't you. PEMB0471: don't say we're in seventh week, because it won't be true unless you...damn! From: Owen Dunn Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2000 19:21:16 +0000 pjb1008: It's a Sparc Classic, I wouldn't elope with it. From: Owen Dunn Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2000 19:21:26 +0000 jda23: Mr Vernon, you do not appear to be making full use of your width From: Sion Arrowsmith Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2000 15:58:39 +0000 dcr24: "If the only way I could get a blow job was to invade a country, I'd think there was a problem." (And in case this one from 4/3/2000 hasn't been submitted: mcv21: "I can think of better things to beat Ian [iwj] with than an A--Z of Gloucester.") From: Martin Read Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2000 21:05:02 +0000 kebl1088: If you apply the public key then the private key youe get it out. mpr22: If you make a tough one instead of a hard one... mpr22 (different point in time): ... if you want to insert them it doesn't hurt. iwj10: I was sucking, not blowing. From: Peter Corbett Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2000 15:58:47 +0000 (GMT) elb30: It's not stealing if they let you try it on first. From: ian@davenant.greenend.org.uk (Ian Jackson) Date: Mon, 20 Mar 2000 23:21:36 +0000 ex-RJK1002: ``I want instant gratification and I want it now !'' ex-hert0145@sable: Later, dear. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2000 18:58:39 +0100 ex-hert0145@sable: I think I can tell babies apart better than I can tell sheep apart. From: Ian Jackson Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2000 22:29:41 +0100 (BST) pemb0471@sable: Meanwhile, back in the real world ... ex-RJK1002: ... Snow White's feet don't appear to be relevant ... 14.4.2000 From: Ian Jackson Date: Sat, 15 Apr 2000 19:56:05 +0100 (BST) pemb0471@sable: I don't differentiate. 14.4.2000 From: Matthew Vernon Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2000 23:09:42 +0100 (BST) ex-hert0145@sable: I think I inserted that candle a bit too forcibly ex-iwj10: You can dig in there with your fingers if you like ex-eci1000 to ex-rjk1002: put it away! ex-osd1000 to ex-rjk1002: would you like a cup of sex? cci1000: there's too many ex'es around here ex-iwj10: oh, lots of nipples is good, yes pemb0471@sable: I'd have spent forever trying to get it off with a corkscrew pemb0471@sable: I was wondering how a female genitalium would detach cas52: you know that eating the crist off your pizza first is a sign of grtoss perversion? ex-mww12: Oh. Thank you. ex-osd1000: I don't accuse anyone of hypocrisy as that would be hypocritical ex-hert01454@sable: on USENET no-one can tell you're an armadillo cas52: I thought you meant diareses as in a strange sort of hyphen cas52: Mao could become an arms race ex-hert0145 to ex-rjk1002: Your hips aren't big enough sa121: I think that exhausts my buffalos mcv21: I'm far too sweet and innocent to read that sort of book cas52: Excuse me, aren't you a vet? pemb0471@sable: I was going to say "Aren't you Matthew Vernon?" ptc24: I though were only innocent where homo...sapiens is concerned. From: Owen Dunn Date: Fri, 21 Apr 2000 13:05:13 +0000 dmm20: It's like no zombie I've ever had... From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2000 15:13:53 +0100 ex-ajm46: How bizarre. My copy of the bible is all in bzip1 format. ex-rjk1002: The only difference is how tightly clenched your fist is. ex-hert0145: Generally if you took small children out to dinner, you wouldn't expect them to wear a jacket and tie until they were... ex-ajm46: ...fully cooked. ex-hert0145: It's still quite kinky - normally it falls out if you play with it. ex-hert0145: It's perfectly fair for _me_. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 14:55:54 +0100 (BST) ptc24: I'd like to do it, and I'm sure Marisa would too. elb30: It's not stealing if they let you try it on first. ex-osd1000: Real life has much to learn from USENET From: LNR Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 21:31:37 +0100 (BST) iwj10 (to rjk1002): You're turning the coffee table into a lovenest. From: Peter Corbett Date: Fri, 19 May 2000 17:01:46 +0100 (BST) eci1000: I'm definitely not Ian Jackson's trousers. From: Peter Corbett Date: Sun, 21 May 2000 13:07:24 +0100 (BST) "It's amazing how long you can stare at a vibrating H-H bond." - tcd24 From: Colin Watson Date: Tue, 23 May 2000 14:28:01 +0100 mcv21: [mis-scoring a game of contract whist] Er, ENOMATHS. cjw44: ECHEATING! mcv21: That too. From: "Jonathan D. Amery" Date: Mon, 29 May 2000 22:34:46 +0100 (BST) iwj10 - Noone is interested in how *you* personally achieve Meta. iwj10 - It's easier to win arguments when you're Marxist because then you're more right. iwj10 - And God signs the message with the miracle. dcr24 - You're trying to define your own Bible. From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 23:19:31 +0100 pemb0471@sable.ox.ac.uk: Who wants my feet? From: Owen Dunn Date: Sun, 18 Jun 2000 15:58:21 +0000 eaobrien@chiark: Urgh, the vampire's full of sediment From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000 21:24:16 +0100 ex-DPS1001: In my spare time I like to work on machine-readable ontologies. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2000 13:51:29 +0100 (BST) adw27: "the further down my zip goes, the closer you are to being in trouble Matt" From: siona@chiark.greenend.org.uk (Sion Arrowsmith) Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2000 15:44:04 +0100 sjk25: Are you saying that Ian Jackson programs therefore I am? From: Matthew Vernon Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2000 19:34:50 +0100 (BST) osd1000: what's wrong with martin read???? vkc20: he's not in a tin From: Owen Dunn Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2000 21:09:21 +0100 vkc20: oh you're jon amery; I thought you'd look a lot more like Brian Blessed. From: Owen Dunn Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2000 21:08:33 +0100 vkc20: Have you ever tried licking canasta off your loved one? From: "Jonathan D. Amery" Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 23:14:22 +0100 (BST) MHF - You can sink into depravity, and you can certainly sink into cream cheese. ptc24 of osd1000 - Because he's a tasty pudding. elb30 - So beer is a cross between bread and lettuce. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 15:38:44 +0100 (BST) rjk: if you have too much fish in your freezer, buffer your enemies with frozen haddock! From: Matthew Vernon Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 17:22:16 +0100 (BST) Janet McKnight: I can cope with cuffs! siona: There's so many british mammals you can do Janet: Oh! when do we get to do the bodice-ripping? From: Owen Dunn Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 10:09:08 +0100 (BST) rjk1002: zubstitute, n. using a bee flying backwards instead of almost anything else. From: Matthew Vernon Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 20:56:06 +0100 (BST) elb30: it's only instinctive when it's matthew! [mcv21] From: Matthew Vernon Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 21:11:02 +0100 (BST) elb30: I never used to be able to move without my halo slipping! From: Matthew Vernon Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 21:26:14 +0100 (BST) Janet McKnight (at relativity): don't blame me - i only work here From: Janet McKnight Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000 13:42:53 +0100 cas52: "Everyone's equal, provided none of them has an axe." (10/6/00) pemb0471: "All my badgers smell of dope." (11/6/00) ex-sa121: "I've only had one of them in the front of my car." ex-hert0145: "I think we can extrapolate tongues." ex-sa121 to ex-iwj10 (of pemb0471): "Oh good, she's found someone else to eat!" ex-hert0145: "It's still long enough to chew if I want to." ex-sa121: "Bear in mind that mine's only 9 foot." ex-sjoh0357: "I've got a lot of nerve-endings and I've every intention of enjoying all of them." (28/6/00) ex-hert0145: "Ian [ex-iwj10] is renowned for having millions of elbows." (28/6/00) bcg20 to akj23: "You're ticklish. And I have my legs crossed." (28/6/00) ex-hert0145 to bcg20: "What are you incubating?" (28/6/00) mcv21: "To do it properly, I'd have to get David to part them." (28/6/00) akj23 (about Relativity): "This is what's wrong with this fucking house: too many blokes, too much massage, too much sex." (28/6/00) From: Richard Kettlewell Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 12:34:27 +0100 (BST) Synchronised swimming is eerie Especially when it's being done by ducks.